you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
