Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize