Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
