Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
