hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
