I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
