Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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