Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
