So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize