I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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