Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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