Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
