The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
