dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
