i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You pole danced in your parka.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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