cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
