She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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