OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
