Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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