Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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