I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
