Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
