East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
