come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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