If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
