I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
