I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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