Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
