I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
