I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
