btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
