Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
