doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
