just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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