I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
