Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
