i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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