break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
