He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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