Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
