So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What drink are we having for lunch?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
