I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
