I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just forgot I was standing up.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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