I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I think I just sharted jello shots
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
