yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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