meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
