Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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