Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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