he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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