he wants to bone in the snuggie
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
