We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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