There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
