I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
