That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I want a musical about memes.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
