Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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