like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
