I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
