Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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