Just cropdusted the office
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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