FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
