ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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