Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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