Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
