Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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